"Oh, She's Got Boobs...."

This was my first session of my trip from earlier this month. Until I sat down at the table, I hadn’t realized how tired I was.  But I felt it as soon as I started looking at cards, and kind of knew that this was going to be a short session.

At the table were a couple of regs I’ve called Jan & Dean in the past (see here).  There are not kids, to say the least.  A married couple who visit Vegas often and always seem to play at MGM when they do, Dean has a full head of totally white hair. 

I said hello to them and noticed that my pal Mike was pushing in.  This happened to be a Thursday night, which meant that it was a Slut Parade night.  And after noticing me (first time I’d been in the room in nearly two months), he turned his attention to Dean who was giving him a hard time.  Apparently, I’m not the only player that Mike deals bad beats to.  Dean was saying to Mike, “Already?  You’re gonna crush me so early tonite?”  And I said, “No, he came here to crack my Kings.”

Then Mike brought up something that had happened in the room the night before, that I obviously missed, seeing as how I was in L.A. at the time.  It seems that there was this really spectacular looking girl who walked by the poker room (even though there would have been no Slut Parade on a Wednesday night).   To hear Mike tell it, this girl was beyond sensational. As I heard the story play out, it seems that Dean missed seeing her because he was playing a hand.  Mike was across the room, in the back, but couldn’t help noticing her. To hear him tell it, everyone in the room with a y-chromosome noticed her.  But Jan, who was sitting next to Dean then as now, saw the girl, agreed she was incredible and did not point out the girl to her husband.  And from the conversation, it was clear that this is something Jan normally does indeed do—point out hot babes to her husband whenever she sees them.  It is one of her wifely duties.  And she failed in this instance and Dean was kind of pissed about it.  Interesting that they have that kind of relationship.  I don’t think a lot of wives Jan’s age would so eagerly take that responsibility.  Anyway, Mike assured me that this exactly the type of girl I view the Slut Parade to see.

Later, I suddenly heard Mike call Dean’s name and I figured out that he was trying to get him to look at some female passing by.  So I turned around as well (I had my back to the walkway).  I only got a look at her from the back, which was pretty impressive.  And Dean gave Jan a hard time for having to rely on Mike for providing this service instead of Jan.

There was some weird action at this table when I first got there and was getting my bearings. There was a limped pot, and the flop was King-King-6.  The guy to my right put out a smallish bet, and had a bit over $100 behind (I had folded pre).  Dean was sitting behind a big stack of at least $450 and announced all-in.  It folded back to the guy to my right, who tanked for a long time and then finally announced he was calling.  Dean flipped over his cards…King-9.  The other guy flipped over Jack-6!  Huh?  Note: there was two of a suit on the board, but this guy’s Jack-6 was unsuited and neither of the cards matched the suit that was duplicated on the board.  After a blank turn, the guy on my right was calling for a 6—as if that would have helped.  His trip 6’s would have lost to Dean’s boat.  But it was a brick and Dean took in a decent pot and the guy with Jack-6 left, much to everyone’s disappointment.

As he was stacking his chips, I said to Dean, “Well, Christmas came early for you, huh?” Everyone nodded, and Dean agreed.  He couldn’t understand it but then he said, “I guess he thought I was full of shit.”  Then pointing to his wife, who was sitting next to him, he added, “Of course, she thinks I’m full of shit.”

There was another odd hand early.  There was a guy who was the table’s designated Aggro who had a smallish stack by this time.  I got the impression his stack had grown and shrunk a few times before I’d gotten there.  On the hand I noted, the board was 9-8-4, two spades and he shoved on it, I guess about $130, maybe a bit less.  He got called by two other players. Turns out he was shoving with 4-5 of spades. And he hit his flush on the river.  The other two players had a set of 9’s and a set of 8’s.  So now this Aggro had a nice stack to play with and he wasn’t shy about putting chips in play.

I had managed to drip down to about $140 (from $200) without really getting much to play.  Then I found myself with pocket deuces.  I called $8 and it was six-ways, including Aggro who was not the raiser.  The flop came 8-5-2, two clubs.  The raiser checked, but Aggro bet $30.  He had well over $400 by this time.  The new guy on my right, with a stack slightly more than mine, called the $30.  Well, with the size of my stack, I couldn’t figure out how to raise without going all in, so I went all-in.  It folded back to Aggro, who thought for a little bit and called. It turned out he had to put in another $104 to call.

The only one left was the guy to my right.  He thought long and hard.  Then he thought longer and harder.  And finally, he folded.  The turn was a brick, but the river was a club, and the guy on my right groaned a bit.  Aggro turned over….8-6, both red, offsuit.  Huh? Top pair, no kicker and a back door straight draw?  Happy to take your money, sir.

Of course the guy on my right was saying he would have hit his flush.  Hmm…..If he had a flush draw, I think he had the right price to call there, no?  I mean aside from the result, I think he should have called.  I asked him if he had a baby flush draw.  Maybe he didn’t call because he was afraid he was drawing dead and that one of us had a bigger flush draw?  But he said no, he had a Queen-high flush draw and he “wasn’t worried at all about him (Aggro).”  He said he was worried about me, thinking I either had a set or Aces.  Huh?  Well, of course, I wouldn’t have played Aces that way, but obviously he didn’t know that.  Either way, I don’t know how he folds there.  He really should have shoved for not a lot more than my shove and he would have won a real nice pot.  But it was damn nice of him to not chase his flush when I think it would have been the right play.

That gave me a profit of over a hundred bucks.  And so, because my seat was now a “lucky seat” I didn’t take the opportunity to move to a seat with a better view of the Slut Parade when I had the chance.

In the small blind I had 9-8 off, no raise so I completed.  It was four way.  The flop was 10-7-6 two clubs, pretty good for me.  I bet $5 and someone made it $15.  I just called, it was just the two of us.  The turn was a King of hearts, a nice blank.  I checked, he bet $20, I made it $60, he tanked and folded.

I called $15 with pocket Queens and it was heads up.  The flop was Ace-Queen-x.  I called $25.  The turn was a King and he bet $55.  I was pretty sure he didn’t have Jack-10.  I made it $140 and he tanked, but folded. 

It was early but I was real tired and though I seemed to be running well, but I was afraid that playing tired would ruin the night.  Just as I was ready to wrap it up, the next dealer pushed in, and it was Ellen, who I told you about here. She was the dealer who, as a player, had made a great laydown against my turned set of Kings with a pair of Aces.  Now that hand had occurred over two months ago, but I had only written the post about it days before, so it was once again fresh in my mind.  And so, after saying hi to her, I immediately said, “I still can’t believe you folded there.”  It was sort of a non-sequitur to her.  But she did in fact remember the hand, kind of.  She said, “Well, it was just weird how it played out.”  But then she asked for more details and I had to play it back for her.  She didn’t recall if we had showed our cards or not.  We had not.  I said she told me (hours later) she had Ace-Queen and I told her I had Kings.  So she said, “Well, I could have been lying.”  And I said, “Yeah, I could have been lying too.”  Anyway, it was rather amusing to me that we were rehashing a hand from over two months ago that I was pissed about for not taking more of her money. Poker players, huh?

A few minutes later I took my chips up to the podium to cash out, up $220.  For just a couple of hours play, I was quite happy.  While I was getting my money, there were people walking behind me, either towards or away from the club.  Suddenly I heard a female voice, and with absolutely no context, I heard her say to her pals, “Oh, she’s got boobs.....”

Oddly enough, that got my attention.  I turned around and saw a group of people walking the opposite direction from the club.  They were not dressed for the club, I’ll tell you that.  The speaker, it turned out, was a rather short, kind of overweight gal.  But sadly, it was too late to get any read on her boobs.  And then I heard her continue, just before she got out of my hearing range:  “They’re small…..but she’s got boobs.”

A nice session and a nice “woman said” first nite in town.  A good score.